2nd Draft. The opening battle scene is gone. It works better to start with the chase sequence and it didn't add anything other than exposition. Some minor changes elsewhere. The centurion that survives at the end is now Crispus the guy who was going to kill Blasius on page 2.
PAGE 1 (5 panels)
PANEL 1
Long wide panel, close up of sandaled feet running on the ground.
CAPTION
I never thought I would live through my first battle let alone experience and live through such things as I have in the last 5 days.
CENTURION
Keep going! They’re right behind us!
PANEL 2
We focus on a small group of the romans breaking off from the main force. The are heading towards a forest.
CAPTION
Our forces were unable to break the Cimbrian defense and we fled...
FLAVIUS
This way! We’ll lose them in the woods!
PANEL 3
The group of Roman survivors has entered the forest. They can be seen in the foreground rushing through the trees hastily. In the background, high on the edge of the trees we see silhouettes of the barbarians in pursuit.
PULLO
They’re still behind us! We can regroup and fight them!
CRISPUS
Aye we can take these bastards by surprise if we use the terrain for cover.
FLAVIUS
No! Keep going.
PANEL 4
Up ahead there is a dense fog.
VORENUS
In here. They’ll never find us we can reach the main camp by morning once we lose them.
PANEL 5
The legionnaires travel through the mist.
FLAVIUS
Stay within sight of each other.
PULLO
Gods, I can’t see a thing in here.
PAGE 2 (6 panels)
PANEL 1
They come out the other side of the mist, still deep in the forest.
FLAVIUS
Vorenus take some men and secure a perimeter. The rest of you rest here for a moment. We’ll head back to the main camp shortly.
BLASIUS
I can’t believe we survived that.
PANEL 2
Medium shot of Crispus and Blasius with Pullo in the BG
CRISPUS
Curse you and you’re surviving! If it weren’t for cowards like you we could have crushed the barbarians.
PULLO
What you on about Crispus?
PANEL 3
Crispus still staring at Blasius who is taken aback by the sudden verbal assault. Pullo still in the BG.
CRISPUS
He was the first to run! I saw him with my own eyes. He spent the entire battle trying to work his way to the back lines while real Romans were fighting and dying.
BLASIUS
…
PANEL 4
Crispus is angrily moving closer to Blasius half drawing his Gladius when Flavius steps in to put an end to the argument.
CRISPUS
What’s the matter? Nothing to say? I’m going to gut you right here you coward.
(O.P)FLAVIUS
That’s enough. Stand down.
PANEL 5
Flavius looking sternly at Crispus. Crispus is still fixed on Blasius. His hand just releasing his sword as he replies.
CRISPUS
…
FLAVIUS
I said, STAND. DOWN.
CRISPUS
...Yes, sir.
PANEL 6
Crispus and Flavius look up to the right suddenly as Vorenus yells a warning.
VORENUS
Movement in the mist. Ready yourselves. The enemy are upon us!
PAGE 3 (5 panels)
PANEL 1
The soldiers are at the ready. Mist all around them. A guttural roar sounds.
RAAAAAAWWWWWWWRR!
PANEL 2
Close Up on some of the legionnaires looking confused and worried.
LEGIONNAIRE
What in the name of the gods was that?
PANEL 3
One of the legionnaires is tackled really quickly by something that came flying out of the mist. The others turn to look suddenly
LEGIONNAIRE
Arghhhhh!
CREATURE
Grooowwwwwwlll!
PANEL 4
Potential Title Panel Larger panel of the legionnaires under attack by the creatures. Show multiple creatures flying at them from the left and crashing into the soldiers with the momentum. Blasius is in the middle holding his sword limply looking utterly horrified.
FLAVIUS
Form up! Form up! Don’t let them break through!
PULLO
They’re already through!
CRISPUS
To the death then!
CAPTION
Their Claws carved through flesh steel and bone as though they were the same.
PANEL 5
Close on Blasius. He is frozen in fear. Chaos reigns all around him.
(O.P)FLAVIUS
Blasius! Form up now!
PAGE 4 (6-12 Panels)
This page could be purposely made confusing and chaotic with only Blasius crawl to cover reading traditionally. Can add extra images of soldiers fighting the demons in small panels all around. Lots of SFX.
PANEL 1
Mid shot of Flavius starting to turn towards Blasius to grab him into formation. Behind him a large shadow emerges from the mist.
PANEL 2
Charging out of the miss a giant version of the creatures smashes several soldiers including Flavius into the air with a single swing of it’s massive arm.
PANEL 3
Blasius is struck by one of the flying centurions and knocked to the ground.
PANEL 4
A hole in the ground can be seen nearby where he lands.
PANEL 5
Blasius crawls into the hole, grabbing some foliage on his way in.
PANEL 6
His eyes peer out at the slaughter. In the foreground we can see more Romans falling and creatures descending on them to feast before they are even dead.
Page 5 (6 panels)
PANEL 1
Flavius, who is slumped against a tree mortally wounded, locks eyes with Blasius in his hiding hole. In the background the fighting still rages on. The ground is littered with dead Romans and creatures.
CAPTION
Flavius saw me. He saw what I was.
PANEL 2
Mid shot on Flavius.
CAPTION
In those last seconds before the creatures ripped his throat open...
PANEL 3
Demons descend on him and rip his throat out as he looks chillingly still at Blasius.
CAPTION
He looked right into my soul and saw me.
CAPTION
I was never more aware as I was in that moment of my cowardice.
PANEL 4
Closeup on Blasius eyes/face from the hiding spot. He lies there frozen in fear. Afraid to do anything incase he is discovered. All he can do is watch as his comrades are slaughtered and devoured by these demonic beasts.
CAPTION
I should have been ashamed. I should have hated myself...
PANEL 5
Pull out from his spot to see the creatures skulking around and tearing bits off the romans. Blasius still visible in the BG
CAPTION
But deep down, all I really thought was...
PANEL 6
Pull out further to show more of the aftermath. Blasius still visible in the BG.
CAPTION
...thank the gods I’m alive.
PAGE 6
Full page illustration.
PANEL 1
Blasius at the bottom of the page cowering. Unmoving. Weary eyes. Above Blasius is the images of the battle and the creatures. We can see Pullo and Vorenus with a pile of dead creatures at their feet as Pullo is pounced on by one of them and vorenus looking surprised. We can see a closeup of one of the creatures evil looking faces looking right at us as it eats some gore and holds some lumps of flesh in the other hand. Images of the huge behemoth slicing several soldiers at once. A centurion crushed in the behemoths massive hand. Images of brave centurions looking to battle with Blasius himself in the background - small and scared. And lastly images of Flavius staring at him and Crispus angrily calling him a coward.
CAPTION
For two full days and nights I lay in that hole. Afraid to move. Reliving the horror of what I saw over and over again.
CAPTION
Each night I heard them again. Scavenging at sunset, hunting in the forest. Searching for survivors.
CAPTION
Each night, eating and growling to each other.
CAPTION
I’d see their feet run past and thank the GODS they didn’t notice me. It carried on like that until dawn.
CAPTION
I’d resigned myself to my fate: To lay there and waste away. Let the thirst take me into the next life. Better that than the alternative...
PAGE 7 (5 Panels) Could do this as a page of long tall panels with Blasius slowly standing up at the bottom of the page and montages of his thoughts above.
PANEL 1
Medium shot on Blasius in the hole. Crispus and Flavius above him again.
CAPTION
And yet, when I thought of Flavius searing gaze, and Crispus’ rage, and the shame that came with them, something changed in me.
PANEL 2
Montage image of a roman farm, Blasius with his mother and his father the centurion holding him upside down by one leg when he was a little boy.
CAPTION
I felt death near, I thought of home. My mother. My Brother and Sister. And my Father. The Centurion. What would they think of me now...
PANEL 3
Closeup of Blasius grimacing. Wrestling with a difficult decision. A girl smiles at him.
CAPTION
And I was angry. Angry at my mistakes. Angry at all the missed opportunities I’d had to live. To really live.
PANEL 4 Extreme closeup of Blasius grimacing tightly now and holding his hands against his head.
CAPTION
Most of all, I thought, I don’t want to die. Not like this. I can’t live like this anymore…
CAPTION
And in my head a voice told me: Get up.
PANEL 5
Blasius stands up.
CAPTION
And I did.
PAGE 8 (9 panels)
PANEL 1
Blasius throwing water on his face at a nearby stream. There are some other small weird creatures drinking there and eating grass. Not like anything he’d ever seen before.
CAPTION
Water was easy. There were streams running all through the forest.
CAPTION
Food was different.
PANEL 2
Blasius throwing up in the bg with a berry shrub in the foreground.
CAPTION
The berries made me sick…
PANEL 3-5
3 small panels of spears missing prey.
CAPTION
And I’d never been much of a hunter…
PANEL 6
Blasius moves warily through the forest with his makeshift spear.
CAPTION
Two more days passed with only water to keep me going. I’d searched every direction for a way out of the forest, returning only to get back to my hole in the ground before dark.
PANEL 7
Medium closeup looking over the shoulder of Blasius as there is some rustling in the leaves behind him. He is subtly looking behind.
CAPTION
I was aware of something stalking me.
BLASIUS
This is it then. So be it.
PANEL 8
Blasius turns quickly and strikes as a strange alien looking warthog creature pounces on him. His spear hits home in its gut.
BLASIUS
Come on then! Give it your best shot!
PANEL 9
Smaller long shot of Blasius cooking the creature on a small fire.
Page 9 Montage page of travelling through the forest
CAPTION
It was a good decision to dedicate my recently replenished strength to find a way out of these accursed trees.
CAPTION
If only I had known then what seems obvious now.
CAPTION
All day I searched back the way I was sure we had entered.
CAPTION
But something wasn’t right.
CAPTION
We’d only been pursued for an hour into the trees by the Cimbrians yet I’d travelled almost all day with no end of the forest in sight.
CAPTION
Thoughts that it could only be a little further kept me pushing forward more than I should have.
CAPTION
But always, it was on my mind that the sun was setting soon.
CAPTION
It was too late to turn back. So I found other refuge for the night.
PAGE 10 (7 panels)
PANEL 1
Med Close shot of Blasius with a horrified look on his face looking into the cave. Groans and growls come from deeper inside.
CAPTION
Not long after I settled in the mouth of the cave, I heard them. The sun was just going down. But the noises weren’t coming from outside.
PANEL 2
Long shot of Blasius darting out of the cave as fast as he can.
Blasius
Noooo!
PANEL 3
From behind a tree,utterly terrified, he sees the creatures spill out of the cave.
BLASIUS
Gods, I can’t stay here. I have to move. I have to find the way out!
PANEL 4
Med shot. Blasius stealthily darts through the forest. Creatures silhouetted in the BG and growls and groans all around him.
PANEL 5
OTS Full shot. Blasius rounds a tree and startles one of the creatures.
PANEL 6
Without wasting a second he runs it through with his Gladius but not before the creature gives out a primal screech.
PAGE 11
PANEL 1
Low angle shot. Blasius is running forward as fast as he can. He can hear them all behind him now.
PANEL 2
Closeup on Blasius. He looks startled and relieved at the same time.
BLASIUS
By the Gods!
PANEL 3
High angle Long shot of Blasius racing towards the mist. The creatures can still be heard behind him.
BLASIUS
The Mist! It has to be the way out!
PANEL 4
Reverse Low angle Med/full shot. Blasius screeches to a halt. Looking up. A loud roar comes from off panel.
BLASIUS
No…
PANEL 5
Sure enough, out of the mist comes bounding the larger creature straight for him.
Page 12
Panel 1
Closeup as he readies himself.
BLASIUS
I’m dead as soon as it gets to me. I’ve only one chance. Have to make it...
PANEL 2
He times the strike perfectly. His sword lands right in the creature's gut as he ducks under a swinging clawed hand.
BLASIUS
...COUNT!
PANEL 3
The creature thuds to the ground past Blasius who is looking at it with relief.
BLASIUS
Finally, I am free to leave this cursed land.
PANEL 4
Blasius starts into the mist. But as he takes a step he hears a shout behind him and turns surprised.
(O.P.)CRISPUS
WAIT!!! Don’t leave me!!
BLASIUS
Crispus?
PANEL 5
We see Vorenus rushing towards Blasius. A few of the creatures are almost on him with the rest not far behind. He’s fighting them off as best as he can.
CAPTION
And so here I am. Once again facing the same decision I always face.
PAGE 13
Panel 1
Blasius smashes into one of the creatures and slices the head of another as Vorenus stabs a third.
CAPTION
But after everything, this is how it has to be.
Panel 2
Med/long shot of: Blasius tries to carry Vorenus but Vorenus has a wounded leg. It’s useless. More of the creatures are near them now in the foreground. Framing them.
Panel 3
Bigger panel of both the centurions engaging with the creatures.
Panel 4
Pull out. We see the swarm of the creatures around them. It’s looking hopeless now.
Panel 5
Long shot. The creatures are now like a horde of ants swarming an invader.
CAPTION
I can’t run again. I won’t.
THE END
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